I took Ayahuasca twice. I had just a brief hallucination in the first one. Both of them were really painful. In the first one I felt how much I’m afraid of death and I also had plenty of memories about my family. I felt so weak that I could do nothing but suffering the pain and wait until I fall asleep. In the second one I was feeling the same pain and then at some point I realized how much I keep the suffering for myself, how much I just “eat” my fears and keep them in my body. As soon as I had this thought, I started throwing up violently. The pain was so big that I started screaming. Then I saw myself as a baby incapable to cry. I was afraid, hungry, cold… but I didn’t cry at all, I was just shocked baby, keeping my pain for myself. Then I realized that I had to fight for life, that I have to cry and scream to grab my parents attention. Then I could do anything else but crying, screaming, punching the floor and punching myself. I was feeling sorry for disturbing the other people surrounding me the same way that I was sorry for disturbing my parents as a baby. But I couldn’t help it. Crying and screaming, expressing my anger, was the only way to feel better. So I kept throwing up violently and screaming loudly as much as I could. My screams were so loud that the Shaman tried to chill me. Nothing worked. When I was exhausted of screaming and punching things I could rest for a while, but as soon as I recovered the pain was unbearable again and I had to repeat the craziness. I was feeling more and more concerned about the people surrounding me. The Shaman started playing simple instruments and singing and then I modulated my screams, transforming them in a chant. I never, never sing. I’m too shy for that. But my chants had the same effect as my screaming, so as long as I was singing I was feeling better. So I start singing, as loud as I could. I said no words, just sounds coming from my stomach. I tried to make the sounds as repetitive as possible, without loosing the spontaneity. That way I began singing for hours. At some point, 6 hours after the beginning of the journey, I felt good enough to finally stand up and eat something. Next day I talked with my parents about the experience. Both said to me that when I was a baby my mum couldn’t breast-feed me and they had to switch to milk powder. I never cried in the whole process. The trip helped me to realize that my fears come from a moment that I couldn’t even talk. Therefore any effort to “talk” to my fears is useless. Usingmyreason I arrived as fas as I couldgo. Forthenextstep I needtotalkto mybodyusingotherways. Words are just a wall. This will be my next “mauerfall”.
Francesc Gomez Morales, spanish, 32 yearsold.
Francesc suffers since 15 years from depression. He has been treated himself with antidepressant. Since a few months, he was able to quick the antidepressant treatment, and start his healing process only with Yagé treatment.
I can't find really words for this incredible experience i had! But i
want to say THANK YOU, thank you all, you were the best "guide" ever,
to help us feeling love and happiness!
Everyday i feel more well, than before, i feel pure LOVE, i have to
cry everyday, because i remember the wonderful music! THANK YOU JUAN
THANK YOU MICA! You are a wonderful Team! it touched my heart so
deeply! 🙂
I wanted to say thank you personally to mica, but i didn't saw you
again, thats why i'm doing it here! 🙂
I feel so goood, and i feel a big change in my life! and i'm so
curious what will be happen in the future!
Whenthe medicine iscalling me, i will come forsureagaintoyourceremonies!
All of you, are a wonderful Soul's, with pure love, graceful and Passion!
Muchas Gracias!
Love and Light
KatjaGraeber, german, 27 yearsold
I felt great comradeship and positive energy from all of you. In return here is my good energy and good intentions your way. Also if you need any help with any Internet related business or project I would be happy to help. Take care and share the compassion you received last weekend with all the loved ones around you. I felt the presence of many entities around us including my late father, not speaking but hugging with love, compassion and protection. It was such an important closure for me which has been a cause of sadness for the last 16 years. Feeling his forgiveness and love changed many things for me at a very deep level. It is such a great service to us all that the Shaman has travelled this far from his home land to share his wisdom with us. And also thanks to the assisting Shamans, they stayed awake and protected us as well. Itwassuch a lovelygroup. Tony Harold, Canadian, 47 yearsold
Liebe Freunde, dear friends Ich möchte mit Euch ein paar Gedanken teilen. I want to share some thoughts with you. Wie geht’s or how do you do? Diese Frage tauchte nach unserer Erfahrung auf. This Question arised after our expierience. Jeder von uns hat einerseits eine individuelle Erfahrung gemacht und andererseits ohne Zweifel auch Anteil am Erleben des anderen gehabt. Each one of us made an individual expierence and as same without doubt took part on the expierence of the other one. So we shared a lot of aspects during and after the expierence or as common said afterwords. How do you do, was or is a remarkable question, on one hand it´s a well known phrase and the answer is mostly same unconcious, answered as fine, but beyond convention is this truely the answer? I was questioned after the nights from some of you with this „phrase“, and I felt the caring aspect. I asked my self and after looking in my mood I gave the answer as it arrised as summary of the state of my beeing. Quick question and a more or less simple answer was given. But. but... honestly spoken I don´t know. The meaning of „how do you do“ is the deepest question ever arrised in human mankind. It´s the question or the beginning of an dialogue between the unknown and the allknowing. It´s the Quest and longing between love and know-how and I believe we have this good given right to get a true answer and to liften the secret and to liften up the creation and to know how we can create and be become god, what means a beeing as a good creator. A beeing is indeed a bee. That is the funny thing with words as terms correlate with the right brain given answer. Last but not least as already mentioned questioning is a quest and rightfull we have this goodly right to get that for what we long. So how does it function? Words are the given terms of logos, as ment(al) in the greek orign as the part of the god-function, you also can say as the left part of brainfunction and I really loved the exchange with all of you and I want to say you are the value and there is no other currency on this realm of manifestation, as the dialogue between the you and me, the mother, call her patcha mama, or space, or darkness when it is unknown and the light, the goods as stars coming to earthen themself as a star seed and planting on this plane to create a planet of god. It´is a question of focus. Whatis a focus? A focusis a beam of light. Whatis a function? Itis a fun in action, or a fun-act-ion. In german language same word written “Funktion“ includes the word Funke ( you know it from Beethovens Freude schöner Götter) and means spark. The word ion, is used to discribe a elektric currence what indeed means the same: the living aspect of the atomic tripelity discribed as proton, newtron and electron, in action. So ion means I on, a process through breathing while an exchange of negativ and positiv ions happens, a creating movement in the body, you watch as up and down, and up moves out and down moves in. Same meaning of So-ham (Indien Mantra). If you see this symbol or icon on electric stuff you know what to do: press the button. Here an other interesting letter Φ greek letter, but also symbol called phi. So the hole, called zero, means undefined potential and space gets his value through I, that´s you. I is also the principal in counting numbers means: If I, a beam, penetrating the O it is not only a letter but also number, a hole, or a cycle as also a sound and through this movement in space reality is created. And last but not least I sounds like eye. It all has to do with the I and the O (vum and vum is a sound by itself). I am the Alpha and the Omega, as it is said. You know it from a flipp switch or seen on a power button. When I took rape, may be it was yopo, not sure what I took or god I was shot in a marvelous pure pinkish torus, and than it became a high frequent cateye running so fast and sharp like a blade rotating on an axis, and I felt a little bit overwhelmed. The symbol of the self or the sun in astrology is a point in a circle. Earth is a cross in a cycle, and looks like a target, and so on. I love to get a clue about what is realy going on and to read creation not only in the lines but more between and across all grades and get more teaching in universal language, Following more and more my intution and truth and again it was a great pleasure to meet you all and I miss the exchange of expierence already. May be soon the question how you do is more easy to answer. Make the eye in you happy and let it, the E.T. be bee. Much love, good roots and a happy mind. Gunnar Hennig, german, 52 years old.